I am not at all pleased with the wailing and screaming competition you enjoy having at bedtime when Daddy is out climbing. For you, I have sacrificed my body, my career and my sanity. I have baked stuff (okay, it was once, and it did involve a little bit of help from Betty Crocker). I have begun to come to terms with appearing in public on a regular basis with snot and/or porridge smeared across my thigh.
Daddy has a list too, but his is rubbish and should be ignored. Just because that one time we left you nappy free for too long and some pee shot across the room and hit Daddy in the mouth does not mean that he deserves nicer behaviour at bathtime.
P.S. 5:30 a.m. doesn't count as official "morning time". Please bear that in mind for tomorrow.