Yesterday I was trying to do the impossible - get ready to go out to a posh dinner while supervising two toddlers. I have a fairly large bathroom, so I figured “why don’t I just bring a few toys in, and they can just doodle around in here while I have a shower?”.
It seemed like a great idea at the time, although if it was a film the audience would no doubt have been shouting “YOU’RE SUCH A NOVICE!! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING??” at the screen.
Anyhow, it started out fine. They played a little, then ran around like nutters (nothing new), then wedged themselves between the bathtub and the shower and made faces at me. All fine.
Madeleine picked a moment when my eyes were firmly shut against the shampoo to go and have a wee in her potty. As I opened my eyes I spotted both of them beside the potty: Madeleine pointing and looking horrified, and Elliot raising a wet little cupped hand to his mouth.
The shock of my shower-echoed voice stopped him mid-wee-sipping (not a phrase you use every day). He then grinned at me and started slicking his hair back with it, deftly dipping his hand back into the potty for a little more wee to ensure an evenly slicked hairstyle.
By the time I managed to clamber out of the shower and catch him, his little blond fluff was all spiked up with his sister’s wee and he had turned the potty completely upside down in his hurry to escape me. A little wee lake formed on the floor.
All the while, Madeleine was crying and shouting “Put it back!! Put it back! Mummy, my wee wee doesn’t go on the floor!! It goes in the potty!! Put it back!!”
Ah, the joys of motherhood.